I looked in the refrigerator to see what we had in the way of healthy breakfast foods. Okay, is it just me, or if you're out of fruit, you're pretty much screwed regarding healthy choices?
But then I saw it - we had one egg left! Hallelujah, praise the Lord! Except...I'm not a skinny model-type, so I require more than one egg for satiation. Then I got a brilliant idea. Beyond brilliant! I would make a new recipe that would be talked about for generations and generations to come! I, Christina Acree, would create a masterpiece to end all breakfast masterpieces! In my mind, it would look something like this:
So, armed with my hopes for the end result, I began...rifling through the refrigerator. Onion, oh yeah, can't go wrong with that... Don't forget the one egg that started it all... Parmesan cheese, what a good choice! (mental back pat) Zucchini and squash to use for the bottoms... An orange pepper just for fun... Tomatoes and cheddar cheese... maybe?
Once I had my ingredients, I was ready to begin. I briefly considered donning an apron to feel more epically domestic, but then I thought, "Mmm, yeah, better not..." (Name that movie.) I hollowed the squash and zucchini using a vegetable peeler, because we didn't have any other kitchen utensil I could think of to use. Then, I threw the innards (that's an awkward word to use when cooking...) into my Magic Bullet cup, along with the one egg (sans shell, of course), a bit of orange pepper and onion, and...that was pretty much it. Blended it all together until it looked like runny, gag-me, orange goop.
It was at this point that I decided to give myself a pep talk, because so far, things weren't progressing quite how I had originally pictured them... So after the pep talk, I forged ahead, just as Julia Childs (Child? Chiles? Eh, whatevs) and the other culinary greats had before me.
I placed the zucchini and squash shells on a black, greased 9x13 pan. I poured the concoction onto each shell, then sprinkled on the parmesan cheese (in hindsight, step-by-step pictures probably would have made this seem more legit, but that's why hindsight is 20-20 and foresight is...not).
Then, everything was ready to go in the oven...which I quickly realized I had not even pre-heated as of yet. So, being the impatient person I am, I popped the pan into the oven and turned it on to 400 degrees (not gonna lie, I just stared at my keyboard for about 2 minutes trying to find the degrees symbol). Then I cleaned up the kitchen while I waited for my food to cook (also eating whatever I had not used for my recipe).
After I had cleaned up, the oven finally beeped, signalling that it was done preheating. I turned on the oven light and peered in, hoping my masterpiece had transformed in just 10 minutes! Nope...still looked sad.
So instead of fangirling over my food by the oven for the next 8 minutes, I decided to set the oven timer and clean my room whilst waiting.
Now, cleaning my room is another story within itself. It actually usually only requires me making my bed and sorting through my clothes to look a million times better. The trick is knowing which clothes are clean and which ones need to be washed - or, if I'm really lazy, I just throw all of the clothes in the hamper and call it a day. But today, I was feeling productive. So I decided to sort through my laundry using the sight-and-smell method.
First, I look at the laundry in question. Are there deodorant stains on the shirts? Yes? Dirty. Do the shorts/jeans have any hideously grotesque food or grass stains on them? No? Clean. Is this a pair of underwear? Yes? Dirty. Is this a bra? Yes? Clean. Socks? Dirty. Then, for the clothing that is not easily sorted by sight, I use smell. This is reserved as a last measure, considering that some clothing (especially any shirts or socks left here by my boyfriend) can be really rank and devastating to my nasal passages.
After the laundry was all sorted, I made my bed. The oven timer beeped. I surveyed my dish's progress through the oven window. On a scale of 1 to 10, it looked to be about a 7. Not bad. I pulled it out of the oven, sampling a zucchini piece and then a squash piece (both pretty bland, next time I need to add some seasoning), and then I put the rest in a storage container for the fridge - lunch perhaps?
I threw all the dishes in the sink for my mom to do later, then left the kitchen. Ten minutes later, I came back in the kitchen and turned the oven off (Oops...).
And (drumroll please) here are the results:
Hold your applause. No really. They were nothing to write home about. Although, let me just say, for only using what I had to work with, these didn't turn out bad! And at least they're healthy.
So that's my impromptu recipe for today. Help me name it and you'll win a prize!
