So I was sleeping. In my room. Like I always do at this time of day. When God woke me up. That's the only way I can think of to explain it, because I'm normally a good sleeper. I can sleep anytime, anywhere, for any amount of time. Anyway, I was laying in bed trying to go back to sleep. Because, unfortunately, I'm just selfish enough sometimes to ignore God's attempts to get my attention. But He would not be ignored this time. Two hours passed. I tossed and turned. I tried to think of dreamy things that might make me sleepy. All to no avail. So now here I sit. Waiting for the sun to rise. Listening. And remembering. I remember laying by the lake and listening to ''Hosea'' by Shane & Shane over and over again while He gave me so much joy that tears ran down my cheeks. I remember Italy and the monastery where I saw the most beautiful evidence of God's creation. I remember reveling in the glory of God with Tishia, Kelly, and Hannah. I remember swinging on Tami's porch swing and dreaming about the future. I remember God speaking to me through the morning dew one day when I was walking to volleyball practice. I am so thankful to Him for all He has done for me. For all He has brought me through.
God, I'm so sorry for treating this time in my life like an in-between period. You've given me this time just as you gave me time up at BCF, time at camp, time in a relationship that was not glorifying to You, time at Harrison, time with family, time at Faith Baptist Church, and time with friends. I am lucky to be where I am today. And I pray that You would fill this time in my life with Your presence. With thoughts of You and noone else. With compassion, joy, silence, laughter, praise. And if tears, sadness, grief, anger, noise, or other trials should come along, I ask that I would continue to seek Your face.
"Your laughter it echoes like a joyous thunder
Your whisper it warms me like a summer breeze
Your anger is fiercer than the sun in its splendor
You're close and yet full of mystery
Ever since the day that I saw Your face
Try as I may, I cannot look away, I cannot look away...
Captivated by You
I am captivated by You
May my life be one unbroken gaze
Fixed upon the beauty of Your face."
(Captivated by Vicky Beeching)
