Top 10 Hymns

My friend, Hannah (who has an awesome blog, btw - you should check it out), just made her list of top ten hymns, so I took the time to make mine.  A lot of these have sentimental value attached, so just bear with me while I list them out for you:

10. Amazing Grace -  If Christianity had an anthem, I'm sure this would be it.  But, I mean, if you really think about the words themselves, they are SO AMAZING.  Because of His amazing grace, a wretch like me was saved - how sweet is the sound of that grace!

9. Power of the Cross - I love this song, because the melody accentuates the words so amazingly.  And the emotions that I can pour into this song - whoo.  That's all I have to say about that.  Favorite stanza (even though they're all awesome):

"Oh, to see my name

Written in the wounds,

For through Your suffering I am free.

Death is crushed to death;

Life is mine to live,

Won through Your selfless love." 

8. Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing - This is one of the most poetic hymns I've ever heard.  I just love it.

7. Old Rugged Cross - I used to sing this hymn in the truck with my dad on Sundays when he would take me to church.  I don't have a lot of fond memories of my relationship with him, but this is one of the best :)

6. O the Deep, Deep Love - This is a "new" hymn, but it's so beautiful.  Just in case you've never heard it, please take a moment and listen.

5. Be Thou My Vision - For those of you who don't know me (or much about me), know this - I LOVE acapella music, and I love singing in harmony.  This hymn is definitely one of my favorite ones to sing acapella.

4. When I Survey the Wondrous Cross - The words to this song.  Man.  They make me bawl like a baby.  Or choke up immensely.  All depends on the room and the day.  I actually like the alternative melody to this song.  If you don't know what I'm talking about, take a listen:

3. Just As I Am - This hymn has been the "altar call" go-to hymn at manyyyyy church services I've been to.  I have it memorized.  And it is challenging, and so convicting too.

2. How Great Thou Art - This song can either be sung acapella as a solo, or as a HUGE choral number with many parts.  I've heard it both ways, and I believe the words are just as powerful either way!

1. I Need Thee Every Hour - Guys.  This song.  Is my favorite hymn of all time (obviously, because I listed it at number one.)  This hymn has the ability to break my heart down ANY TIME I hear it, no matter WHAT is happening in my life when I listen to it.  Favorite version right here:

What about you?  What are your favorite hymns?  Can someone please comment something so at least I know people actually read my blog and this isn't just a glorified online journal?  lol

January Update on New Year's Resolutions

Below are the New Year's Resolutions I made for 2017.  Let's get a progress update, shall we?


1) Lose another 50 pounds - As of this morning, I have lost 8 pounds this month!  Wheeeee! And last week, I joined Gold's Gym, so hopefully, having to pay $30 a month will help me get my quickly-shrinking butt in gear! ;)

2) Pay off all of our immediate debt - Slowly but surely, this is happening.  We did have about $250 worth of unexpected car expenses come up this month, as well as us make about $200 less than we normally do, but God is providing, and we are trying really hard to be faithful to our budget!

3) Rewrite Ravensboro - So far, I've rewritten the Prologue and the first 2 chapters :)

4) Finish Harkness - I really can't start on this until Ravensboro is done, but I'm in the zone!

5) Journal/Blog more - I've written a few blog posts about the books I've read on my Book List for 2017, but I haven't journaled yet.  I really need to/want to get back in that habit.

6) Find out where I should be career-wise - Honestly, I'm not really sure how to measure this goal, or to even go about this goal, other than keeping my eye out for job openings that appeal to my talents & schooling.  I'm trusting in God to guide me and take care of my needs (which He is completely doing) during this time of dissatisfaction with my current career path.  I know He has a plan for me, and I'm willing to be faithful where I am until He moves me.


What about you?  Did you have any New Year's Resolutions going into 2017?  How are those working out?

An Exercise in Letting Go

I was sitting at my desk at work on Wednesday afternoon, and I was thinking, "How do people with kids live life?  Like, I'm married and have no kids, but I still feel overwhelmed with all of the demands I face JUST FROM work, church, bills, house, and marriage - how do people survive once kids are thrown in the mix?"

It seriously baffled me.

Since Tyler and I have been married, we left Faith Baptist (the church I pretty much grew up in) and started attending Life Church.  Right away, we got involved in their music ministry - Tyler, playing the bass guitar, and me, singing in the choir and on the mic.

We've been attending & serving regularly for a year and a half (I was even promoted to choir director), but during that time, I've only led two songs on the mic, and both of them were on Wednesday nights.  This has been a struggle for me, because ever since we started attending Life Church, I've wanted to lead songs on Sunday Mornings.  The longer we've been going to that church, and the more I've felt like I've had to fight to prove myself vocally, etc., the more stressed I became.

Long story short, about a month and a half ago, a part of me woke up.  "What is the big deal with leading songs at Life Church?" a voice in my head asked me.  (Not like the Schizophrenic kind of voice, but you know what I mean.)

Let me just say - Vanity, vanity, all is vanity.  It's true.  And I decided to find avenues to use my voice that aren't a constant fight or struggle and that don't have me second-guessing my ability/gift at every turn.  So I joined Lakeland Choral Society.  And I committed to singing in the Christmas cantata at Faith Baptist this December.  And my mom and I are singing in a choral performance at the end of September.

So just when one door was closed to singing Christian contemporary music in the way I wanted, another door has swung WIDE OPEN to get back into singing classical choral music - which is something I've sorely missed!  And I know I'll be so busy with these things, I won't even have a CHANCE to miss leading music at Life Church.  And why was I so bent on doing that anyway?  For external validation of my voice?  Man, what foolishness.

Anyway, God is good.  He provides for our needs and blesses us with things that we didn't even know we wanted until it's in our lives!

So back to my initial statement - my life is busy.  My life is full.  With:

1. All of the aforementioned musical endeavors (Lkld Choral Society, FBC Christmas Cantata, and the September Choral event)
2. Writing a sequel to the novel I wrote last November (I'm almost halfway done!)
3. Being a wife & caretaker of my amazing husband (this involves cleaning, laundry, cooking, budgeting, grocery shopping - all things I've never really had to do before being married)
4. My job - of course.  Full time.  It's a lot.
5. Being the choir director at Life Church

This list is not all-inclusive, but it highlights the main things.  How would kids fit in there anywhere?  I have no idea.  I'm not saying I never want kids.  I'm just saying, they would be a huge adjustment.  But I'm ready and willing to do what God's will is - if that's to have a child in the next year, I will do it with joy.  If it's to wait a few more years, I'll do that with joy as well.  And if it's not to have any children biologically - He is Sovereign God, and I will abide by His Will.

What about you?  What is God doing in your life?  What has He blessed you with that you didn't even know you wanted until you had it?

When Songs Bring Tears

Guys,

I don't know if you know this, but I was a big choral nerd in high school.  I kinda still am, I just don't really have an outlet for it any more.  Ever since high school, I've been a huge fan of acapella music, especially when Eric Whitacre is the composer.

Favorite Eric Whitacre song here:

This song is taken from 2 Samuel 18 when David learns of his son Absalom's death.

32 And the king said unto him, "Is the young man Absalom safe?" And he answered, "The enemies of my lord the king, and all that rise against thee to do thee hurt, be as that young man is."
33 And the king was much moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept: and as he went, thus he said, "O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! would God I had died for thee, O Absalom, my son, my son!"

This song makes me WEEP.  It is so good.  And, of course, I selected the version with sheet music showing because I told you - I'M A NERD LIKE THAT!

Anyway, so Eric Whitacre - I'm a huge fan of his.  And I've never really been able to find another choral composer that can touch his awesomeness.  Until today.

Dan Forrest, y'all.  Just listen to this song.  #Goosebumps

This song is from Ruth 1, when Naomi tells Ruth & Orpah to return to their families after the deaths of Naomi's sons & the women's husbands.  Ruth says:

16 But Ruth said:
“Entreat me not to leave you,
Or to turn back from following after you;
For wherever you go, I will go;
And wherever you lodge, I will lodge;
Your people shall be my people,
And your God, my God. Where you die, I will die,
And there will I be buried.
The Lord do so to me, and more also,
If anything but death parts you and me.”

I love it so much, I've always loved this story, but this song just brings the emotion in these verses TO LIFE.  I just bought it on Amazon - but this version in the video is waaaaay better than the version on Amazon.

I hope you enjoy these songs as much as I do.  What music moves you?  Please share!

What's New, Pussycat, Woah-oo-woah-oo-woah!

If you don't understand the title of my blog post, I feel sorry for you.

If you watched that, then you're welcome.  If you didn't, poo on you.

Anyway, back to me and what's new in my life.  I know, I know, I haven't written a blog post in ages, and I definitely haven't been keeping up with my #30DayChallenges, but I have to say, I did warn you at the beginning, and I'm much better at making plans than keeping them.  Sad, but true.

The first thing I want to say about my life is that I am back on Low Carb, Low Calorie, and I'm determined to lose at least 15 pounds by the end of this year!  I'm calling it my Pre-New Year's Resolution.  I've already lost 5 lbs just by eating less and eating healthier and drinking more water and using this great little APP called My Fitness Pal.  My immediate goal is to lose enough weight to fit back into my wedding dress (and most of my clothes!) - but my long-term goal is to be skinnier and more fit than I have ever been in my adult life, which shouldn't be too hard considering I've never really had a desire to be super fit before.

Okay, on to the next thing.  I need to get serious for a minute.  I don't usually work on Fridays, Saturdays, or Sundays as many of you know.  So most of the time, I'm at home by myself doing nothing in order to save money.  To be honest, it's been kind of depressing.  I don't make plans to hang out with friends, and more often than not, that just means I stay at home watching Netflix and pretending the people in the shows I'm watching are my friends (kidding, except kinda not).  And when it started, I blamed Tyler.  I blamed him for our financial shortage, I blamed him for not being wild and exciting and interesting and into all the things I'm into - in short, I blamed Tyler for not keeping me content.

And recently, I realized - IT'S NOT ANYONE'S JOB TO KEEP ME CONTENT; CONTENTMENT CAN ONLY COME FROM GOD.  Sorry I just had to All-Caps you guys in the face, but it's true.  Contentment can only come from God.  And guess what?  My prayer life during that time was virtually non-existent and the only time I read the Bible was on Sundays during the preacher's message at church.  It's a wonder I was so depressed and discontent. (sarcasm)

But then, my friend Hannah invited me to a new Bible study the women of Faith Baptist Church were beginning.  The Bible study is centered on 12 women in the Bible, and so far, I am learning SO MUCH from it - it's probably one of the best Bible studies I've ever been a part of.

Then I decided I wanted to try and read the Bible through in a year, because I've tried that a few times, and it never worked out.  However, I've never tried to read the Bible through chronologically.  So I hopped on Amazon.com and did some shopping and found the Reading God's Story: A Chronological Daily Bible.  I ordered it then and there; it arrived on Wednesday, and I'm already a few days in and loving it!

I don't want God's word or my relationship with Him to just be a checklist or a bunch of names and dates on paper, I want my faith to be a living, breathing, full-of-wonder thing.  I want to be the woman of God He created me to be.

So yeah, that's what's new in my life (the most important things anyway).  Also (sidenote), we recently got our Old Towne engagement pictures from Tyler's friend, Sara, so I'll be posting those soon.  Keep your eyes peeled!

One Word Makes All the Difference

I was thinking about it today, and there is a word that, when placed in front of other words, completely changes their meanings/connotations.  That word is: Christian.

I know the word Christian was originally used in reference to Christ-followers as an offense back during Biblical times, but now it's used to describe everyone who has professed salvation - that is, everyone who has called on the name of Jesus Christ to save him/her from sin.

And as Christians, we are called to be set apart from worldly things (Romans 12:1-2).  If we as Christians are doing our job right, then our "words" below should look a whole lot different from the world's.

So if you could, just take a few minutes to think about what each word means to you and how the meaning changes once you put "Christian" in front of it:

1. Song ...... Christian Song
2. Book ...... Christian Book
3. Adult ....... Christian Adult
4. Wedding ... Christian Wedding
5. Marriage ... Christian Marriage
6. Love .......... Christian Love
7. Hope ......... Christian Hope
8. Vow ........... Christian Vow
9. Purity ......... Christian Purity
10. Friend ...... Christian Friend
11. Morality ...... Christian Morality
12. Forgiveness ... Christian Forgiveness
13. Truth ........... Christian Truth

Can you think of any more? Which ones stood out to you the most? Also, does the word "Christian" hold a good or bad connotation for you? Why?

#30DayChallenge

Guys, not to brag, but I'm a genius.

That is to say, I'm really good at coming up with these awesome plans for my life that I rarely ever follow up on.  Character flaw?  Maybe.  Okay, yeah, pretty much, but this plan I REALLY want to follow through on.

Let me start back at the beginning.  So I was watching this show on Netflix called "30 Days," and basically every episode, a person from one background/culture/belief system would spend 30 Days immersed in an opposing lifestyle.  The four episodes I watched were: a conservative Christian living with a Muslim family in a majority Muslim town, a conservative Christian veteran living with a homosexual in the Castro district in California, a health-nut mom who binge-drank four times a week to get through to her 19-year-old college-partying daughter, and an atheist living with a non-denominational Christian family.

These episodes really had me thinking.  A lot.  Mostly about how Christianity and today's culture don't mix very well, but also about how Christians don't know how to LOVE their neighbors in truth AND mercy (they're either "loving" them by unmercifully shoving the truth of scripture down their throats or "loving" them by watering down the truth or casting it aside altogether in favor of "tolerance").  So I was like, "Hey, I should create a Bible study centered around all of this and introduce it as a small group at the church I'm currently attending..."  But the more I meditated on that, I realized it would be too much of a commitment for me at this point in my life.

BUT here comes the exciting part.  I was praying all afternoon and evening for God to show me how He wanted the concept of 30 Days to impact and effect change in my life, and He woke me up at 2:00 AM this morning with the answer!

Thus, #30DayChallenge was created.  Physically, my body is a mess.  I've gained a ton of weight and developed some pretty unhealthy habits lately, and I keep getting sick and missing work as a result (not cool at all).  So something needs to be done about that.  Spiritually, I'm incredibly undisciplined.  If I could change any area of my personal spiritual walk and my relationship with my husband, it would be that we would pray together more.  Also, I've felt for a long time now that God has gifted me with the ability to write and a passion for doing so.

ALL of that to say, each month for the next 8 months, I'm taking on a #30DayChallenge to sharpen one of these areas of my life.  I'm pretty excited about all of them.  Take a look:

• May - #ExerciseChallenge (30 min./5 times a week)
• June - #WeightLossChallenge (Exercise + Healthy Eating)
• July - #DrawingChallenge (1 drawing per day - I'm pretty excited about this one)
• August - #GuitarChallenge (Learns 3 chords & 1 song per week - hopefully Tyler will help me on this one)
• September - #LoveMyHubs (Going above and beyond to show Tyler how much I love & appreciate him)
• October - #DevotionalBlog (Writing a total of 20 devotional blog posts - 5 per week)
• November - #NaNoWriMo (Yep, I'm finally going to participate - and hopefully finish writing "Camp Tandy"!)
• December - #PrayerChallenge (30 min./5 times a week)

I'm going to try and write one blog post a week to chronicle my progress, but I can't make any promises.  lol  I'm really excited to see what God shows me through this process, and hopefully I can cultivate some healthy habits that will last me for the rest of my life!

Your prayers and encouragement would be greatly appreciated during these next 8 months, and if God lays a #30DayChallenge on your heart, I encourage you to consider doing it.

So here we go!

In Matters of the Heart

It was a Thursday afternoon at 5:33 PM.  I was rushing to get all of my work done before I had to leave for the day.  I was standing in front of the drawers containing the investment files, struggling to pull all of the investment files for the tax clients who were scheduled to see Lynn the following week.  Just as I was contemplating how to move a towering stack of emerald green folders, the phone rang.




"Lynco Financial & Tax Services, this is Christina; how can I help you?"  Breathless, because I had barely reached the phone before the fourth ring. 




"Have you checked your cell phone lately?"  My sister, Sara, in a weirdly intense and accusatory tone.




Then, getting defensive, I replied, "No, I'm at work."




"Mom just had a heart attack.  We're at the hospital now.  She's in surgery getting a stent put in."




The words "mom" and "heart attack" kept reverberating in my mind.  They couldn't be in the same sentence.  The two nouns couldn't be related.  My mom?  Had a heart attack?  For a second, I forgot how to breathe; then I realized it was because the tears were already trying to choke me.




MY MOM.  HAD A HEART ATTACK.  It finally clicked in my brain.  Sara had given the phone to my other sister, Jessica, who was calmly relaying more details.




"I'll be there as soon as I can."

Why You Should Care What People Think

I've heard a lot of people say, "I really don't care what anyone else thinks."  Or friends give other friends advice/encouragement with the words, "Don't care what anyone else thinks - do your own thing!"  But have you really thought about what saying those words means?

If you don't care what other people think, that means that you essentially only care about your own thoughts or opinions, which, in a word is SELFISH.  People who only care about what they think are selfish individuals who struggle with submitting to authority.

I bet now you're asking, "So does that mean we're supposed to care what everybody and their brother thinks?"  And the answer to that is an emphatic NO.  Because if you go around caring what everyone else thinks, you will have no inner strength to stand up for what you believe (because you will be bending to everyone else's will)!  That kind of life would make a very INSECURE and FICKLE human being.

So what's the alternative?  If we shouldn't care what everyone thinks, but we also shouldn't NOT care what everyone thinks, then what are we supposed to do?  Glad you asked.

I'm gonna throw a word out there, and you just think about it a minute.  Let it roll around in your brain.  Let it seep into your thoughts.  Let it form how you think about this topic.

The word is DISCERNMENT.

Some of you may already know what that word means.  Some of you may not.  So I'll tell you anyway.  Discernment is the ability to judge well or, in Christian contexts, discernment is perception in the absence of judgment with a view to obtain spiritual direction and understanding (thanks Google).

Discernment is one of those words often misused by Christians and hardly ever used by any one else...unless someone says that you have a "discerning eye" for beauty, clothes, etc.

It's no wonder, then, that people often take the "advice" to not care what anyone else thinks and become less humble, less selfless, and less able to submit to authority.

Let's go back a little bit and review who we are as people and why we were placed on this Earth with other people just like us.

We are imperfect.  We are fallible.  We are forgetful.  We are frail.  BUT we are also creatures of the same God.  He is our strength.  He comforts us, guides us, and gives us direction if we let Him.  Oftentimes this direction may appear in the form of ANOTHER HUMAN BEING being used by God to give us godly counsel or direction.

Did you catch that?  GOD SOMETIMES USES OTHER HUMAN BEINGS TO GIVE US GODLY COUNSEL OR DIRECTION.

Which means, if we're off "not caring what anyone else thinks" and doing our own thing, we may miss that direction.  We just need to be conscientious of others around us.  But that doesn't mean we need to take what everyone else says as "God's honest truth," because honestly, it may not be.  There are a lot of false prophets and deceitful people out there who would love to see us fall.

So what can we do to distinguish between those God is using and those who are trying to make us fall?  That's where discernment comes in.

1) God will never ask us to do anything that directly defies Scripture, so if someone is giving you advice or counsel that is against Scriptural teaching, then it is NOT of God, and you probably shouldn't listen to it.  If you're not sure whether the advice goes against Scripture, then GET IN THE WORD and find out!  Or ask someone you TRUST and who you know is wise in Scriptural teachings.

2) JUST BECAUSE advice or even an opinion comes from a "Christian" source does not automatically mean it is the right or only opinion to have.  Growing up, I had a friend who was a die-hard Christian.  Just to look at her, you could tell she loved Jesus.  It took me a long time to realize that there were certain things that we had different opinions about, and that was okay.  Just because she didn't like a certain store, certain clothes, certain music, or even certain people DID NOT mean that I shouldn't like them either.

3) On the flip-side, JUST BECAUSE advice or an opinion comes from a non-Christian source does not automatically mean it is the wrong opinion.  They just may come from the wrong motivation, but the opinions themselves may not be wrong.  For example, there are people in the world who are not Christians that have decided to save sex for marriage.  This reflects the biblical command to remain pure and undefiled for the marriage bed.  Another example is the health movement currently sweeping across America.  Not everyone who eats healthy is a Christian, just like not everyone who eats like a glutton is a pagan.  But Scripture does say our bodies are a temple of the Holy Spirit, so we need to treat it as such.

I hope this gives a clearer picture of why we should care what people...certain people...think.  BUT, we should always judge the thoughts and opinions of others through the lens of God's Word and what we know to be biblical truth.

Quiet Night, Raucous Thoughts

(Originally written as a Note on Facebook on Saturday, October 6, 2012, at 10:39 pm)

My mind is everywhere tonight. I am sitting in a virtual stranger's house, babysitting two extremely beautiful children who are asleep, and I didn't bring a book to read so I'm at odds as to what to do. So, of course, I initially Facebook stalk people. Which led me to my friend Kelly Ann's most recent blog post, which was beautiful to read. And then I thought, "When was the last time I posted a blog?" So I figured I'd write a note that showed my heart and what's been going on inside it lately - hopefully this does just that, and God uses it to, in some way, bring glory to Himself. Because that's what my life should be all about. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

*deep breath*

Okay, so, as many of you who know me already know (haha, are you lost yet?), many of my friends as of late have been getting married or engaged. Which makes sense, because it's about that time in my life where friends will do that; I'm just at that age. But God never cites a specific age for finding THE ONE; it's in His timing, which is vastly different from mine. So anyway, friends getting engaged and married - check. And how do you think this made me feel?....sorry, I mean, how do you think I initially reacted to this? Like a spoiled brat. "God, why can't I get married like everyone else? Why am I still single? Why haven't I found THE ONE yet? WHYYYYYY?!" ...you get the picture. Now that I think back on it, it's kind of embarrassing...

So this was my attitude. And I was getting more and more frustrated with the "LACK" of attention I was receiving from the opposite sex; I was finding everything to blame it on - such as guys being "shallow," other girls being more "aggressive" and "flirty" than I was... dumb stuff. My heart was growing ugly and bitter. So foul.

I went to do my intensive up at Liberty this summer, and God COMPLETELY wrecked my heart and my emotions with the realization that I was being INCREDIBLY SINFUL, PETTY, AND BRATTY. I was SO focused on my discontentment that I was fully missing everything that God was trying to do in my life. Praise God, just like He brought me out of my most recent ungodly relationship, He brought me out of my most recent ungodly nonrelationship. (That may not make sense to you, but it makes sense to me.)

When I came back from my intensive, my attitude had totally changed. It was definitely a work of God and not of myself, because it was miraculous. I felt so free and light and amazing. But my flesh and the Enemy had other plans. A few weeks ago, I started to grow discontent once more. I began to desire to settle for right now and satisfy my fleshly longing to be in a relationship rather than continue to serve God and patiently wait.

Sometimes I really despise the word PATIENCE. It is not a fruit of the Spirit that comes naturally to me. Which, when you think about it, is a weird statement to make, because none of the fruits of the Spirit are natural, that's why they come from the Spirit and not ourselves. But I think out of all the things that the Spirit supplies me with, I quench patience the most.

So anyway, I began to get impatient. And grow discontent. And, just like He always does, God used His Word and the Spirit and fellow believers in my life to hold up the mirror and show me my UGLY. Praise God. Even though it's hard...especially in the quiet, lonely times (like right now)...God is good. And He has given me so many defenses against my deceitful heart, my flesh, and the Enemy.

Once again, God focused my gaze on what matters most in life, which is NOT ME BEING HAPPY. That should not be my life goal. God forbid I should EVER forsake all else to pursue my own wants in lieu of what God wants. What matters most in life is that I GLORIFY GOD WITH ALL THAT IS IN ME. That I seek to be conformed to His image. Because His image is the original. Mine is just the copy. And I am but dust. God, fill me with more of You, because I long to respond to You...You won't relent (Praise God!)...great is Thy faithfulness. So many songs are coming to mind right now. I think I will go praise you through music. :)

Spring Cleaning

Today was an amazing day and also a heart-breaking day.

Pastor Osborne delivered two incredible sermons today, but the message he brought tonight (technically, last night) was profound. He used spring cleaning as a metaphor. In 1 Corinthians 5, Paul alluded to the "spring cleaning" Israel had to do by finding all their leaven and removing it from their homes. For those who don't know what leaven is (and I really didn't until tonight), leaven is leftover dough that ferments and can spoil the rest of the dough if used.

So anyway, Pastor Osborne compared that to us and how we need to confess our sins and renew our hearts DAILY. He said that "it is harder to get your life clean than to keep it clean." That is so true. I have experienced it over and over again in my life.

When I don't stay in the word and confess specific sins DAILY to God, I become a hoarder of sin and laziness in my heart. Eventually, there's not even room to walk through the pathways of my heart, because they're so cluttered with meaningless distractions and "small" sins that I've become desensitized to because I haven't confessed them. When I finally become convicted to actually "catch up" and "get back to where I used to be," it's a HUGE struggle to overcome.

D        A        I          L        Y.

That's a word I struggle with, because I'm so undisciplined and lazy. I create plans all the time to get in the Word and spend time with God, but it falls apart after a few days. Every time. And I'm left feeling hopeless and defeated. Every time.

Let me take a break from talking about that really quick and go somewhere else. For the past month and a half, I've been on a "healthy eating plan," "lifestyle change," or "healthy food regimen"...whatever you want to call it. I've been telling myself for the longest time that I need to lose weight, but I finally had to buckle down, decide what foods I could and could not eat, and commit to it. It takes a DAILY (there's that word again!) decision to deny myself bread, pastas, and other high-carb or high-sugar foods and instead choose to eat the foods that are good to my body and not just good to my taste buds. Sometimes I want to cheat. There are days where I eat a cookie...or a piece of bread...or...fill in the blank. But then I envision the end goal once again. I am determined to be at a certain place by December, so I will stick to what I'm doing in order to attain that goal.

Okay, so let's go back to the whole DAILY discipline devotions thing. Same concept, right? I just need to "begin with the end in mind" as it were. Where do I want to be? And how do I get there? Answer: I want to be at His feet, following in His steps, IN HIS WILL. I get there by DAILY deciding to spend time in His Word and talking to Him...confessing my sins.


I never want to get to a place where I can't recognize sin in my life. I never want to be living in sin and moral filth and consider myself to be in a "close and loving relationship with God." I found out something about a missionary in my church tonight that broke my heart. He is being blinded to sin by Satan and his own selfish heart, and he still considers himself to be serving God.

Please Lord...

                                                                                                                                ...change his heart.

And help me find and remove the leaven from mine.

1 Corinthians 5:6-8

Late Night Ramblings.

First of all, I think it's safe to say that I'm awful at themed blog posts. Agreed? Good.

Second of all, I don't even know why I'm attempting to write this right now, because I'm tired. I just finished reading all my blog posts from Germany, and I miss the Dueck family with a passion.

Third of all, God's been doing some great things in my life and in my heart recently. I've been pretty consistent with my bible reading lately, and I really hope that continues. Also, God has convicted me about my attitude. There's this book called, "Lord, Change My Attitude (Before It's Too Late!)" by James McDonald. It outlines five negative attitudes that the Lord hates (complaining, coveting, criticizing, doubting, and rebelling) and gives five attitudes to replace them with in the life of a believer (being thankful, content, loving, having faith, and being submissive). I think my biggest challenge is to replace my complaining and covetous attitudes with attitudes of thankfulness and contentment. Which reminds me! I need to write in my "5 things I'm thankful for" journal. I'm trying to write down things I'm thankful for each day (as recommended by James McDonald in the book) so that I will complain less and less and more joy will come into my life.
Also, after I finished that book, I started reading another book I've had for awhile called "In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day" by Mark Batterson. And as I was reading it, it just hit me for the first time that God is truly ALWAYS with me. Like, when I call on His name in prayer, there's no waiting period as his presence "loads," because He is already there. He is here right now. All I have to do to talk to Him is open my mouth. How crazy is that?! Also, how humbling is that? The flipside of that means that He is ALWAYS there when I sin. He is right there watching me as I lie, or doubt, or complain, or any other amount of things I do that are sinful. So I guess it's true what Pastor Osborne says about his definition of the fear of God - the continual awareness that I am in the presence of Holy God; every thought, word, action, motivation, and ATTITUDE are open before Him and are judged by Him. Wow.

God, please continue to grow me in the fear of the Lord. You know my heart better than anyone ever has, does, or will. Empty it of my selfish desires and fill it with Your desires. I pray that the things I want would be the things You want. I pray that my faith would grow by hearing, and hearing by the reading of Your word. Help me to read it, memorize it, and meditate on it DAILY. Teach me moment by moment. When I have the choice of spending time with You or doing ANYTHING ELSE, I pray that I would choose to spend time with You.

RastiLand and God's Land!

So yesterday, Alwina, Elias, Lionel, Julian, and I all went to RastiLand, a theme park about 1 hour from Schieder. It was fun! But it was no Disney World ;) Here are some pictures:

Elias and Julian ^

Lionel on the bumper boats ^

Elias and Julian on the playground ^

Alwina and Lio riding in a go-cart ^

On the wettest ride ever ^

How wet they got ^

How wet I got! Ugh! ^

The boys playing in the rain ^

As you can see ^^ we were perpetually wet the whole day.

Boys being boys on the way home ^

Today was another good day. Last night, I had trouble sleeping, even though I was exhausted when I went to bed. So I got up and spent some time reading God's word and talking to Him. And, once again, God impressed upon me how faithful His love is. Just read this Psalm He showed me to remind me:

"Out of the depths of my despair I call to You, Lord. Lord, listen to my voice; let Your ears be attentive to my cry for help. Lord, if You considered sins, Lord, who could stand? But with You there is forgiveness, so that You may be revered. I wait for the Lord; I wait, and put my hope in His word. I wait for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning - more than watchmen for the morning. Israel, put your hope in the Lord. For there is faithful love with the Lord, and with Him is redemption in abundace. And He will redeem Israel from all its sins."
-Psalm 130

Isn't that amazing? God is amazing! He has been showing me so much through the Psalms, but the main theme has been His faithful love. A hymn that He has been using in my life lately is "Great is Thy Faithfulness." Especially the second stanza - "Summer and winter and springtime and harvest, sun, moon, and stars in their courses above, join with all nature in manifold witness to Thy great faithfulness, mercy, and love." Today, I went on a mini nature walk and took some pictures of God's beautiful creation. Here are some examples of how this hymn was shown to me in nature:

After I got home from my nature walk, we went to Elvira's house for dinner. Elvira is Wilhelm's sister, and she and her husband, Eduard, have 4 daughters. I had a wonderful time singing and spending time with them, and for dinner, we had PIZZA! It was sooo delicious! The three different kinds of pizza were: tuna (yucko), corn and salami (pretty good!), and ham and pineapple (my absolute favorite!). On our way home, Wilhelm and I got into a discussion about the children and about life. It all started when I asked him if he ever wished his boys could stay the age they are now, because they're just so cute. He said no, because the boys will see "beautiful sights" at each stage in their lives, and he wants to be there to see them experience them all. For example, he said, his parents are retired now. And his father has more time to spend reading God's word and spending time in prayer. So those are his beautiful sights right now. Wilhelm also said sometimes people are so caught up in waiting for the right job, the perfect mate, etc., that they are not content with where God has placed them right now. Which is what God has been showing me lately also. I need to be content with my present situation. I need to open my eyes to the beautiful sights God has for me to see in this period of my life. I'm excited to see what they are <3

More later!

PS: Generic yogurt crummy tastes.

PSS: Hallo! Wie geht's dir?! ...Yeah, that's all I got. I'm getting better though, right?

Fellow ck-er: Seriously. RastiLand - you shoulda been there.

Sunday Morning Worship Time

Outside, it's raining. Inside, it's pouring. :)

I woke up this morning and determined to spend time worshiping God in my own private worship service while the Duecks went to church. After they left, I did my personal devotions in 1 Kings to prepare my heart for the sermon. Then I went onto Faith Baptist's website and listened to the sermon Pastor Osborne preached last Sunday morning on revenge. And wow. God started speaking to me.

The biggest impression He left was when Pastor Osborne was talking about David and Saul in 1 Samuel 24. In that chapter, Saul was in the process of chasing after David to kill him, because he was jealous and paranoid. He stopped in a cave to "relieve himself," and while he was in the process of doing so, David and his men were hiding in the back of the cave. David's men told him, "Hey, David, this is the day the Lord has told you about. He has delivered Saul into your hands to do whatever you desire with him." But David knew better! He knew God had made no such promise to David. So he spared his life. But he went up to Saul and cut off a corner of his robe. Right afterwards, the Holy Spirit had convicted David of his sin in cutting of the corner of Saul's robe. But noone else would have blamed David for doing this thing. Only the Holy Spirit, only God. David was SO SENSITIVE to the Holy Spirit, that he was convicted, even over a little sin that noone else would consider to be sin!

How many times have I done that? How many times have I committed so many "small" sins which are not considered sin by the rest of the world, so I didn't even think twice about it? During my last relationship, many of my "friends" put thoughts into my head of hurting my boyfriend as much as he would thoughtlessly hurt me. They said it was good to teach him a lesson. But it is never our place to teach anyone a lesson! Looking back, I can see the ways in which I sinned against God and my ex-boyfriend by being petty and vengeful.

I pray that God will continually show me my small sins and convict me of them. I want to have a heart like David's, that is extremely sensitive to the Lord's leading. I don't want to have a petty and vengeful attitude towards anyone. I also want to be able to speak God's truth in love and encourage others like Jonathan did with his father and David.

This is my prayer today: to surrender all to the Lord. To put on the mind of Christ. To have a heart like David. To live in the presence of the Lord daily.

"All to Thee, Lord, I surrender,
All to Thee I freely give;
I will ever love and trust You,
In Your presence daily live."

Happiness in Hannover :)

Today was a MARVELOUS day!

I woke up at 7:45 and took a shower. Then, at 8:30, Wilhelm drove me to Bad Pyrmont to Cherie Webber's apartment so we could leave for our shopping excursion in Hannover! Before we left her apartment, we had breakfast together. Toast - very nice!

We rode in Bessie (Cherie's car) to the train station in Bad Pyrmont. While we were waiting to procure our train tickets (there was a very old and disgruntled Polish man in front of us who did not know how to work the machine), we started talking to the man behind us who was from France. He told us he was in the process of riding his bike from Hannover to Freiburg - a 7-day, 700 mile trip! How impressive is that?!

Fast forward to the train ride - which was lovely :) The trash can next to our seat kept rattling the whole way, so I contributed my monogrammed kleenex to stifling the noise. It worked. So I left a part of myself on the train today - yay! The train station in Hannover was bustling with activity. There were so many different restaurants and shops to choose from, it was almost overwhelming. We walked out of the train station and down the main street. The first few shops we went into were clothing shops - and they were very expensive. I was not about it. Then, we found a Claire's. And it was all downhill from there... I started spending money left and right. I couldn't stop! I bought a watch (finally! Now I can tell time!) and a scarf (to cover my poor, exposed neck. Really, it was an investment for my health!).

Then we started to feel a little peckish, so we each bought a huge pretzel from a kiosk on the side of the street - what a good choice. After we finished our pretzels, we were thirsty. So naturally, we went to a cafe and ordered some ice cream and drinks (Cherie got a cappucino, and I got a Coca Cola light.)

After we quenched our thirst and satisfied our hunger, we went back on the prowl for cute things to buy. We looked for shoes, but alas, it is as hard for me to find German shoes big enough for my feet as it is to find American shoes big enough for my feet. Sad. We did, however, try on some adorable hats!

The picture you see of me is of my favorite hat :) To see more pictures, you can go to my Facebook album. My purchases today included 2 scarves, 1 ring, 1 pair of earrings, 12 postcards (can't wait to write on them!), and 1 watch. Perfect - and not too heavy to take with me back to the States!

After we were done shopping, we decided to take some pictures of two of the pretty churches in Hannover. We also got some pictures in a flower shop on our way - they have such beautiful flower arrangements here! The second church was my favorite, and as you can see, right when we got to it, a wedding happened to be letting out! So I snuck a picture (of course!)

After that, we got back on the train and headed back to Bad Pyrmont where we had some yummy Chinese for dinner. The scenery wasn't bad either! Pictured below is me and Cherie waiting for the train, and also the view from our table at the Chinese restaurant. Try not to be too jealous ;)

After dinner, Cherie drove me back to the Dueck's house, and here I sit, posting in my blog and staying up much later than I intended. Also, Helen will be here in less than 7 days! Wahoo! And for those of you wondering, the status of my cold is this - my throat still hurts and I am still coughing occasionally, but it is much better than it has been. Praise the Lord! Also, I finished "Emma" last night - what a great book! I recommend it highly to anyone who hasn't ever read it!

So now I will leave you with a verse that I read in my devotions tonight, because God is greatly to be praised!

"God - His way is perfect; the word of the Lord is pure. He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him."
- 2 Samuel 22:31, HCSB

Take refuge in Him :)

PS: Gelatinize Your Card Table.

PSS: It makes me so excited to think that you are growing in your relationship with Him. I pray it continues daily. You know who you are!

How Great is our God!

Today was a lazy day.

I didn't get to bed until really late, because I Skyped until 1 am my time, and then I was up until 3 am coughing and being congested, so I couldn't sleep. Then, I slept in until 11 am, woke up, and ate breakfast. I read a little bit more in the book I'm currently reading, Emma by Jane Austen, and then fell asleep again. When I woke up the 2nd time, I realized I had missed lunch - homemade lasagna. Made from pork, not beef. Interesting... After I finished eating, I took a shower and SHAVED MY LEGS! Pure bliss! If any men are reading this and thinking "TMI," I'm sorry. haha After my shower, dinner, then Wilhelm took the kids over to Alwina's parent's house to spend the night. And Alwina went to choir practice. So I was at home by myself. I put on really warm clothes, got my MP3 player, and went for a walk. It was INCREDIBLE. I put it on my "Love Revealed" playlist. The first song that came on was "How Great is our God" sung by Bethany Dillon. What a perfect song for the walk :) God was everywhere. In the breeze. The trees. The grass. Even the ridiculous amount of slugs. haha

Just close your eyes for a minute and picture it. You're walking on a path alone. The wind is blowing all around you. The leaves on the trees look like they're laughing or dancing in worship to the King. You're listening to music about the Creator. You feel - LOVED. Embraced. In rapture.

That's what my walk was like. It was incredible. I started praying about my future. Because when I get back to America, I have to go back to work. I was thinking, "I don't really enjoy the work I'm doing right now. I just want to have a job that I love." I was also thinking about meeting my future husband. And then this thought hit me like a ton of bricks - finding an awesome career is not the end-all, be-all of my life. Neither is finishing school. Or finding a husband. Or starting a family. Or, fill-in-the-blank. Nothing I accomplish on this earth is worth worrying about, because it has no real eternal significance. Other than serving Him. In the big things. In the little things. In every day occurrences. In my conversations with others. In my prayer life. Life is an adventure. And we're not experiencing this adventure alone. Because He is right there with us to give us strength and smile down on us or comfort us when we need it. How exciting is that?! How thrilling of a thought!

Lord, thank You for going on a walk with me today. I can't wait until our next one =)

Walking Down Schnecke Lane...

For those of you who don't know, "schnecke" is German for "slug." And their slugs here are GI-NORMOUS!!! They only come out after it rains, and it rained all day today. But that's okay, because I like rain :) So Alwina, Levin, and I went for a walk tonight and these slugs were everywhere. Naturally, I proposed that we should count them as we walked. Going one way, we counted 32 slugs!!! Yeah, 32! Talk about disgusting!

Anyway, just thought I'd share that bit of enthralling news with you all. This walk was the first time I had been out of the house in FOUR days. That's right. When I woke up Friday morning, I was SICK. As in, nauseous, throwing up, sore throat, coughing, fever, congestion...you name it, I probably had it. So Friday and Saturday, I was bed-ridden. I felt awful. And I felt even more awful because we had planned to travel to Frankfurt to see Alwina's sister this past weekend, and my immune system ruined it all! Luckily, Alwina's sister was able to drive here and see the family instead. While I remained in a fever-induced coma ;) Alwina was very good about giving me medicine and being sweet to me. I shall relay to you my diet over the past 4 days:

Medical Menu for Health-Challenged Individual (aka Me)
1. Toast, lightly buttered.
2. Some really gross black liquid stuff that I can't pronounce the name of (for congestion).
3. Fever medicine (Supposedly. I was popping whatever pills Alwina gave me.)
4. Vitamin C. ALL the time.
5. Gargling with salt water. Blech.
6. Drinking water - a lot of water.
7. Black tea with honey...only fun to drink AFTER the fever went away.
8. Last but certainly not least, DICED GARLIC. Raw. I had to swallow that each night.

Well, there you have it. My diet. Sounds good, right? =/
I'm just glad I'm better now - praise God that He is the ultimate Healer =)
That's all I'm going to talk about being sick, except to say this. I still have a cough. And it hurts like something that hurts a lot. So please keep praying for me.

There's not really any other recent news on the Germany front, but I do have some news on the relationship with Jesus front - that is, if you'd like to hear it. You would? Ok, good. So the other night, in my feverish condition, I started thinking about demon possession (don't ask me why - maybe because I'm reading through 1 Samuel right now and Saul is possessed by an evil spirit). What I was thinking was - how easy am I making it for Satan to attack me right now by being so inconsistent with my devotions? I find other things to occupy my time instead of spending time reading the Words of SOVEREIGN GOD and praying/talking to the MAKER OF THE UNIVERSE. Who is more important or worth my time than Him?! Noone!!! So what's wrong with me? I'm selfish. And unfaithful. That's all there is to it. I asked God to remind me every day to spend time with Him. Because I don't ever want to forget that He is my all in all. Even though I know I will. Lord, thank You SO MUCH that You are a God of forgiveness and second chances! But I'm tired of stopping, and then running to catch up again, when I should just be consistent and faithful in this race I'm running in the first place. I don't want to stray from His path, because His path is GOOD and RIGHT and PERFECT. No other path can boast of these qualities. No other person can honestly say they will never leave me or forsake me - except for God. No other being can create something out of NOTHING - except for God. No other being can sustain me another day - except for God. No other being can do for me what I cannot do for myself - except for God.

Praise the Lord, for He IS.

Chasing Sunlight

I wrote this on the plane ride from Chicago to Munich.

How long have I been in the dark?
Fumbling along a path of my own folly,
Groping for some kind of consolation in the shadows.
My knees are bleeding from falling over my own sin,
Thorns and branches tear at my flesh -

I begin to run.

Tears sting my cheeks.
My broken hands reach out in front of me;
They long for Your touch.
Lord, I cannot see.
Where have you gone?

I stumble.

My bleeding feet scream in agony.
Where is the sun?
I've been in the dark for so long,
I can't remember what light and warmth feel like.
Grace seems foreign and undeserved;
We're so far apart,
But I'm the one who left.

I stop. I listen to the silence.

Then I begin to sob,
"Abba Father, Abba Father..." over and over.
I cover my head in shame and despair.

The midnight black engulfing me lightens to a blue;
A beacon of light appears in the distance -
I gasp in wonder.
Can it be?

I wait.

The light grows, stretching and racing to meet me.
A strangled cry of forgotten ecstasy rips from my throat.
I tremble with desire.

A song dances toward me,
Embracing me with its restoration and beauty.
My self-inflicted wounds begin to heal.
All of a sudden, I feel a hand caress my head
Like a father caressing His precious child.

I look up into the Sun.

I am blinded by the Glory I see before me.
"I am not worthy of this," I protest.
"My child, I will never leave you.
Though you chase after other lovers,
I still pursue you. My love is unfailing."

My being is filled with awe.
He delights in me.
He holds my frame.
He will never leave.

"I cannot walk," I admit.
He picks me up and carries me
Into the realm of His light and love.

Lachen und Weinen....

(Translation: Laughing and Crying...)

Last night I slept terribly. I cried a lot because my stomach hurt so bad. I prayed a lot, asking God to heal me and take the pain away so I could enjoy my time here and essentially so I could give Wilhelm and Alwina their money's worth. I finally got to sleep around 3:30 am after getting out my MP3 player and listening to some Christian worship music. Which helped a little with my homesickness as well. When my alarm went off at 7:30 am, I felt awful. I know there is a reason God has not healed me yet, but it's just so frustrating and scary dealing with this in a foreign country. I got up and did my devotions and purposed in my heart to not let how I was feeling keep me from going to church. At breakfast, I had two bites of an apple and 3 bites of toast. I literally could not stomach any more, and I felt like I was going to throw up. I told Alwina I felt this way, and I said I was scared to go to church feeling like this. She said it was okay, I could stay home, and that any time I was feeling bad, I shouldn't hesitate to tell her. I hugged her and started crying again. Seriously, this family must think I spend all my time crying and being sick. lol

After the family left for church, I called my Mom. Even though it was 3:30 am in the States, I knew she would answer. And she did. It was so good to hear her voice. She said the way I am feeling is probably my body's way of dealing with jet lag and being in another country. I hope she's right and that it goes away soon. When I got off the phone with her (and cried a little bit more), I feel asleep for about 3 hours. I woke up after the family had eaten lunch, so Alwina made me black tea (without caffeine) and white rice to settle my stomach. I played War with Lionel and Elias, then I taught them how to step it up to Egyptian Rat Slap. We'll see how they handle it the more they get used to it. After that, I was feeling a little better, so we played a game of Mexican Train with some dominoes they have. Here in Germany, they have Sunday night church again at 4 pm, so when Wilhelm and the boys left for church, I got back in bed and laid down for about 2 hours.

By the time I got up, it was time for Wilhelm's family to start arriving for his birthday celebration. He has 3 brothers (all married) and 1 sister (also married). They all came and brought their families. His parents were also here. Altogether, there were 13 adults (including me) and 16 kids in this house. Talk about overwhelming! They were all really nice, though. One of the girls, Evelina, speaks English very well. She stuck by me pretty much the entire time and translated things people would say in German to English so I could understand it. Wilhelm's two younger brothers, Waldemar and David, also spoke English pretty well. They talked to me too. So really, it wasn't that uncomfortable. I didn't eat very much, because my stomach is still very queasy, but I was able to eat a slice of cucumber, some pineapple, a few bites of steak (Wilhelm grilled out), and some cake (there's always room for cake, no matter how bad one is feeling!).

The conversation was very good. David asked me what I thought of whenever the word "Germany" was mentioned. I said bratwurst, sauerkraut, and the Autobahn. Then I asked what he thought of when hearing the word "American." Immediately, he said "fast food," and everyone started laughing. hahaha Nice to know what people think of us ;) He also said Americans are very laid back and relaxed and Germans are more disciplined and hardworking. For the most part, that seems to be true. lol

After dinner, we sang some hymns - "It is Well" and "How Great Thou Art" and one more I didn't recognize. They have a lot more verses to these hymns than we do! Also, it's hard to remember the correct English words when you're the only one singing in English! Another thing I noticed was that all the men and women had their wedding rings on their right hand. I told them that in America, we wear our wedding rings on our left hand. Waldemar said, "They do everything backwards in America." haha Later that night, David and Waldemar had disappeared upstairs, and Wilhelm said they were having a "Kicker Tournament." (In American English, that means they were playing foosball.) So Evelina and I went upstairs to watch, and then we got drawn into the fray. They were very impressed at my foosball skills ;) Of course.

Eventually, everyone had to leave. They all invited me to come visit them. So I'm the much-sought-after American girl. :) haha Anyway, time for bed. OH! And family devotions tonight were in Psalm 121. Great Psalm, and very applicable for how I'm feeling right now.

Keep the prayers coming!!!!

So I'm going to GERMANY!!!!!

I leave in 34 HOURS!!!!! Yes, that's right. My plane takes off at 11-ish on Wednesday. How fun, right? Ok, so let me just tell you what I had to go through today in order to prepare for this ordeal of leaving.

First of all, I hate converters/adapters. And I still don't even have one. Because I went to five different stores looking for the right one, and noone could give me a straight and definite answer of what I would need. Blech (that is the onomatopoeia for the bad taste I have in my mouth because of that).

Second of all, I wanted to get a new camera because my old one is practically dead. In camera years, it is approximately 84. Give or take a few months. So anyway, I was hoping to find a really cheap one (circa $50), but alas, I did not research. And I found out it would cost wayyyyy more. So I had to get my priorities in line and not buy other things because I really really really wanted this camera. And I got it!!!! (Thanks, Mom!)

First picture taken with new camera:

My mother, ladies and gentlemen. Ain't she a beauty?

First video taken with camera:

As you can see, my mother should be a movie star.

Ok, so after the camera and adapter fiasco, it was time to head home. I was still uber frustrated, so I didn't say much on the ride. But texting my best friend had a way of remedying that :) Then, when I got home, I decided to start packing...and kept packing...and Danette came over and exhorted me and encouraged me and distracted me with precious anecdotes and her sweet laughter! Until I was done with the packing. 

Then, the moment of truth came. We drove over to Amy's house to weigh my luggage. My bag can only be 50 lbs. and my carry-on can only be 17 lbs. And my bag was really really heavy as we were leaving my house. I was super nervous. But we got to Amy's, weighed the bag, and - Hallelujah! What a Saviour! - it was only 43 lbs!!!!! And my carry-on was only 14 lbs!!! =D That's how happy I was. So I had a piece of cheesecake to celebrate (Shhhh, don't tell my sister. She wouldn't be too happy about that.) Then, Danette recorded a farewell video which is private and I can't show to you so stop asking! (If you want to see it, approach me later.) And then Amy and Danette sang me a song!

Just kidding, that was take one ;)

Aaaaand the real deal will have to wait. Because it won't upload right now. So that was my day/night of preparing for Germany. MORE TO COME!!!! :)))))))