July New Year's Resolutions Recap

Well, hello there! It's been awhile, hasn't it? I have been going through a lot of changes in my life lately - specifically in the last 3 weeks. So obviously, I didn't post a May or June recap about my progress towards my New Year's Resolutions, and that's because in May and June, there weren't a lot of updates to address. I fell off the weight loss bandwagon, I stopped reading and blogging about it (obviously), and I've been working the same job as I have been for the last 3 1/2 years. Boring, right?

Except let me just get real for a second.  Because I just admitted I wasn't moving forward to any of my goals during the months of May and June.  Which means I was either a) stagnating in my current position or b) digressing (moving away from my goals).  And if I'm being honest, I'm gonna have to go with option number 2.  I hardcore got off the healthy eating/exercise train and gained about 7 lbs.  I started coming home and laying in bed watching Netflix by myself, because it's so much easier than trying to be productive in my life and my marriage.  I started falling back into the old habits that defined me around last October when I realized I needed to begin making changes in my life.

Why is it so easy to go back to the "bad places" in your life when you start to progress toward the "good places"?

And because I was digressing, I began to get depressed.  Something had to change.  I'm going to be 30 this year, and I can't keep "waiting around" for my life to change in the ways I want it to - I need to start acting now.

So my goals are changing from what they were in December.  Out with the old, in with the new.

1) Lose another 20 lbs by my birthday.
2) Finish paying off all debt (besides my student loans) by the end of this year.
3) Become more efficient at my new part-time job (more about that in an upcoming post).
4) Become more spiritually mature in my marriage (this is a very vague goal right now, because I'm not quite sure what this is going to look like, but I'll keep you posted).

So there are my new goals.  I know, I know, I didn't mention anything about being a faithful blogger or writer, but right now, those things are on the back burner.  I might dabble here and there (for fun), but I have so many other more important things to focus on.

Forward & progressing,

Yours Truly

An Exercise in Letting Go

I was sitting at my desk at work on Wednesday afternoon, and I was thinking, "How do people with kids live life?  Like, I'm married and have no kids, but I still feel overwhelmed with all of the demands I face JUST FROM work, church, bills, house, and marriage - how do people survive once kids are thrown in the mix?"

It seriously baffled me.

Since Tyler and I have been married, we left Faith Baptist (the church I pretty much grew up in) and started attending Life Church.  Right away, we got involved in their music ministry - Tyler, playing the bass guitar, and me, singing in the choir and on the mic.

We've been attending & serving regularly for a year and a half (I was even promoted to choir director), but during that time, I've only led two songs on the mic, and both of them were on Wednesday nights.  This has been a struggle for me, because ever since we started attending Life Church, I've wanted to lead songs on Sunday Mornings.  The longer we've been going to that church, and the more I've felt like I've had to fight to prove myself vocally, etc., the more stressed I became.

Long story short, about a month and a half ago, a part of me woke up.  "What is the big deal with leading songs at Life Church?" a voice in my head asked me.  (Not like the Schizophrenic kind of voice, but you know what I mean.)

Let me just say - Vanity, vanity, all is vanity.  It's true.  And I decided to find avenues to use my voice that aren't a constant fight or struggle and that don't have me second-guessing my ability/gift at every turn.  So I joined Lakeland Choral Society.  And I committed to singing in the Christmas cantata at Faith Baptist this December.  And my mom and I are singing in a choral performance at the end of September.

So just when one door was closed to singing Christian contemporary music in the way I wanted, another door has swung WIDE OPEN to get back into singing classical choral music - which is something I've sorely missed!  And I know I'll be so busy with these things, I won't even have a CHANCE to miss leading music at Life Church.  And why was I so bent on doing that anyway?  For external validation of my voice?  Man, what foolishness.

Anyway, God is good.  He provides for our needs and blesses us with things that we didn't even know we wanted until it's in our lives!

So back to my initial statement - my life is busy.  My life is full.  With:

1. All of the aforementioned musical endeavors (Lkld Choral Society, FBC Christmas Cantata, and the September Choral event)
2. Writing a sequel to the novel I wrote last November (I'm almost halfway done!)
3. Being a wife & caretaker of my amazing husband (this involves cleaning, laundry, cooking, budgeting, grocery shopping - all things I've never really had to do before being married)
4. My job - of course.  Full time.  It's a lot.
5. Being the choir director at Life Church

This list is not all-inclusive, but it highlights the main things.  How would kids fit in there anywhere?  I have no idea.  I'm not saying I never want kids.  I'm just saying, they would be a huge adjustment.  But I'm ready and willing to do what God's will is - if that's to have a child in the next year, I will do it with joy.  If it's to wait a few more years, I'll do that with joy as well.  And if it's not to have any children biologically - He is Sovereign God, and I will abide by His Will.

What about you?  What is God doing in your life?  What has He blessed you with that you didn't even know you wanted until you had it?

Erikson & Graham

So the title of this post isn't in reference to a law firm - don't worry, I'm not going to court or anything.  Whew.

Although (side note) I am currently addicted to this show on Netflix called "Drop Dead Diva."  Ever heard of it?  Ever watched it?  It's about this model who dies in a car accident and her spirit gets recycled into an overweight lawyer's body who just so happens to WORK WITH THE MODEL'S EX-FIANCE!!!!  Say what?!!  I know, it's crazy.

ANYWAY...

Back to what this post is for real supposed to be about.  Have you heard that song "7 Years" by Lukas Graham?  Read the lyrics here.  Or just watch the below video.  Whatevs.

Okay, so anyway, I was listening to this song the other day, and it kinda reminded me of when we used to study Erikson's Stages of Psychosocial Development in my college Psych classes.  For those of you who didn't take Intro to Psych in college, the stages of development can be broken up into the following:

1. Stage 1 - Trust vs. Mistrust.  Occurs between ages of birth to one year old.  The child develops trust based on care of primary caregivers, and without the formation of this trust, the child can grow up to be insecure and distrustful for life.
2. Stage 2 - Autonomy vs. Shame & Doubt.  Occurs during early childhood.  The child becomes more independent and starts making choices about personal preferences and clothing selection.  If this stage isn't navigated successfully, the child may experience feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.
3. Stage 3 - Initiative vs. Guilt.  Occurs during the preschool years.  The child begins to develop leadership and social interaction skills through play.  Successful completion of this stage will give a child confidence and leadership skills; without it, they will have self-doubt and lack of initiative.
4. Stage 4 - Industry vs. Inferiority.  Occurs between ages 5-11.  Through social interactions and encouragement from parents and teachers, the child develops confidence and pride in their skills and abilities.  If this stage isn't successfully completed, the child will have doubts about their ability to succeed in life.
5. Stage 5 - Identity vs. Confusion.  During Adolescence.  Which is kind of a hard word to spell, amiright?  Anyway, basically this stage is like, "Who am I, really?" and can usually last well into adulthood.  Sad.
6. Stage 6 - Intimacy vs. Isolation.  Early Adulthood.  When the adult looks around and realizes, "Hey, I'm single, and I'm not okay with that," and they try to find someone to marry them.  According to recent statistics, it only works out about 50% of the time, so a lot of people are failing at this.  (NOT IT! hahahahahhaha)
7. Stage 7 - Generativity vs. Stagnation.  Adulthood.  AKA finding a career beyond working at Mickie D's during high school and excelling at said job.  This is hard, y'all.  I should know.  I'm still trying to surmount this.  #adultingsux
8. Stage 8 - Integrity vs. Despair.  During old age.  When you're sitting in your recliner (hopefully by choice and not because you no longer have use of your limbs) and you look back on your life and think, "Was it a good life?"  We all pray the answer will be yes...and also, we hope that we can remember that far back.  #alsheimersawareness

So those are the stages.  If you've made it this far into the post, congratulations, you're a reader!  For all the rest of the people, I don't have a message, because they won't see it anyway.

So back to the "7 Years" song.  Here are the ages he mentions and what happened to him during those ages.  Let's see if he failed or succeeded:

• 7 years old - Trying to make some friends and learn stuff.  Social interaction - check.  Learning (which probably involves parents and teachers) - check.
• 11 years old - Smoking, drinking, and told to find a wife by his dad.  I'm sorry, what?  Things just went waaaaay off track.  He's still supposed to be gaining confidence in his skills and abilities, not hindering them by being drunk or high all the time!  Also, his dad doesn't sound like a great, encouraging role model.  Just sayin'.
• 20 years old - Sometime between age 11 and now, he started writing songs/stories like his dad did.  I guess that's a good way to find identity, so we'll say he completed this stage...ish.
• 30 years old - He hopes to travel, continue learning about life, spend time with friends and his woman and children.  By the way...what exactly does it mean when someone refers to someone else as his "woman"?  Shouldn't that be offensive?  Because I would be offended if Tyler called me his "woman."  I'd be like, "Call me that one more time..."
• 60 years old - He's hoping his kids will come visit every once in awhile and warm the cold years.  A worthy goal, I'd say.

Overall, I'd say this song does a good job of following Erickson's stages.  Except for age 11.  Don't know what happened there.  #tweenlifecrisis

Well, that's just my little random thought of the day.  What do you thing of Erickson's stages?  Which one are you in now?  Are you having trouble, or acing it like a boss?  Do you like the song "7 Years"?  Are all of these questions annoying?  Lesbi-honest.  Haha.  Pitch Perfect reference.  Sorry.

And with that, I'll leave you with these two recent Pentatonix songs I just discovered, so I'm fangirling a little bit over here.  Watch them and you're welcome in advance for enriching your life.  Have a good day!

Hello Again!

Well hello everyone - it's been awhile!  Since I last posted, Tyler and I moved into a new house that we're renting for the next year and...yeah, that's all I got.

Exciting stuff, amiright?

Anyway, I just wanted to take some time to talk about my most recent obsession - writing.
This past November, I participated in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) where authors are challenged to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days - and I did it :)

The book I wrote is called Ravensboro, and it's a Young Adult Fantasy book.  If you're interested in YA books, Fantasy books, or just my writing in general, let me know if you'd like access to my super-secret book blog :)  Sequel is pending.

There are two other books I've been working on for quite some time now, and these are open to be perused by the public:

• Camp Tandy - this is a fictionalized account of the summer I worked as a counselor at Camp Gilead in 2007.  Names and circumstances have been changed to protect certain identities ;)
• The ITDS - this was a super-ambitious Sci-Fi story that I started awhile back.  I didn't plan out the plot or anything before I started writing it, and I'm afraid I wrote myself into a corner, so I don't plan on adding anything to it anytime soon.

And here are three books I have an idea for that I haven't started writing yet:

• Kissing the Waves - basically, this is a Christian Fiction book about five women who are friends and how their Faiths are tested by miscarriage, marriage problems, and men problems.
• Untitled - I haven't named this book yet, but I got an idea from hanging out with my niece, Bella, and discussing which Disney princesses are best.  This story has to do with a young girl who is sucked into a world where fairytale villains are imprisoning princesses.  The young girl has to rescue the princesses, and in doing so, restore her faith in all things fairytale.
• Nearly Dead Naomi - Honestly, I just got the idea for this book JUST THIS MORNING.  It's about a girl named Naomi who escapes death and lives her life as half-human, half-ghost, trying to stay off Death's radar and have a normal social life at the same time.

So, do any of these stories strike your fancy?  Or are you more of a non-fiction type reader?  Because lemme tell you, I'm not much of a non-fiction type writer, so my stuff might not be for your eyes.  The more encouragement I get for one particular story, the more apt I am to focus on writing that story, so FEEDBACK people!  :)

Engagement Pictures in Old Town

Here they are!  Hope you love them as much as I do!  I'll just let the photos speak for themselves...maybe I'll add a caption here and there if I'm so inclined...  (For those of you who hate photos of people kissing...you may want to get outta here.)

When we first got there to meet up with Sara - look how happy we are!

About to ride the Ferris Wheel!

Wow; I guess we didn't realize how dangerous it could be!

The dip + a kiss = always seals the deal :)

Wait a minute...did we just go Black & White?

This is kinda 101 Dalmatians...amiright?

Tyler's face though...hahahaha

Apparently, he likes what he sees :)

Time for a nap...not!

Awww, what a sweet kiss!  (Ignore the falling debris in my hair. lol)

We make great faces together...

*sigh*  He has the most incredible smile.

Umm...just a bit of us being crazy us!

Probably one of my favorites!

This is the face of someone who's not sure whether or not she is going to get dropped.  haha

Another favorite!

Hey....hey baby!  I wanna know...would you be my girl! (That's a song, by the way.  Look it up :)

I don't usually drive like this, I promise.

Guys, I would never!  (Also, that face - hahaha)

Riding the carousel! :)

Fun times at Fun Spot! :)

Practicing for the wedding reception. Haha

I look so special here. lol

He really does make the best faces!

"Drive like a racecar!"

Sometimes we dance very awkwardly in public...

The wedding date :)

The ring!

Well, thank you to Sara for taking all these pictures - I hope you enjoyed looking at them!  Which one was your favorite?  Do you have any themed engagement photo shoots that you like?  Let me know! :)

What's New, Pussycat, Woah-oo-woah-oo-woah!

If you don't understand the title of my blog post, I feel sorry for you.

If you watched that, then you're welcome.  If you didn't, poo on you.

Anyway, back to me and what's new in my life.  I know, I know, I haven't written a blog post in ages, and I definitely haven't been keeping up with my #30DayChallenges, but I have to say, I did warn you at the beginning, and I'm much better at making plans than keeping them.  Sad, but true.

The first thing I want to say about my life is that I am back on Low Carb, Low Calorie, and I'm determined to lose at least 15 pounds by the end of this year!  I'm calling it my Pre-New Year's Resolution.  I've already lost 5 lbs just by eating less and eating healthier and drinking more water and using this great little APP called My Fitness Pal.  My immediate goal is to lose enough weight to fit back into my wedding dress (and most of my clothes!) - but my long-term goal is to be skinnier and more fit than I have ever been in my adult life, which shouldn't be too hard considering I've never really had a desire to be super fit before.

Okay, on to the next thing.  I need to get serious for a minute.  I don't usually work on Fridays, Saturdays, or Sundays as many of you know.  So most of the time, I'm at home by myself doing nothing in order to save money.  To be honest, it's been kind of depressing.  I don't make plans to hang out with friends, and more often than not, that just means I stay at home watching Netflix and pretending the people in the shows I'm watching are my friends (kidding, except kinda not).  And when it started, I blamed Tyler.  I blamed him for our financial shortage, I blamed him for not being wild and exciting and interesting and into all the things I'm into - in short, I blamed Tyler for not keeping me content.

And recently, I realized - IT'S NOT ANYONE'S JOB TO KEEP ME CONTENT; CONTENTMENT CAN ONLY COME FROM GOD.  Sorry I just had to All-Caps you guys in the face, but it's true.  Contentment can only come from God.  And guess what?  My prayer life during that time was virtually non-existent and the only time I read the Bible was on Sundays during the preacher's message at church.  It's a wonder I was so depressed and discontent. (sarcasm)

But then, my friend Hannah invited me to a new Bible study the women of Faith Baptist Church were beginning.  The Bible study is centered on 12 women in the Bible, and so far, I am learning SO MUCH from it - it's probably one of the best Bible studies I've ever been a part of.

Then I decided I wanted to try and read the Bible through in a year, because I've tried that a few times, and it never worked out.  However, I've never tried to read the Bible through chronologically.  So I hopped on Amazon.com and did some shopping and found the Reading God's Story: A Chronological Daily Bible.  I ordered it then and there; it arrived on Wednesday, and I'm already a few days in and loving it!

I don't want God's word or my relationship with Him to just be a checklist or a bunch of names and dates on paper, I want my faith to be a living, breathing, full-of-wonder thing.  I want to be the woman of God He created me to be.

So yeah, that's what's new in my life (the most important things anyway).  Also (sidenote), we recently got our Old Towne engagement pictures from Tyler's friend, Sara, so I'll be posting those soon.  Keep your eyes peeled!

Princess Cut - THIS YOU GOTTA SEE!

Let's start this post out with an upcoming event that I CANNOT wait to go to - my cousins, Paul & Sheilah Munger, wrote, produced & directed a film called "Princess Cut."  They screened the movie for my family and I at our most recent family reunion in Tennessee, and I have to say, I thought the movie was INCREDIBLY well-done and had a great Christian message in it.  Watch the trailer here or simply watch the trailer below.

Anyway, so there's going to be a local showing of the movie on Tuesday, October 20th at Eagle Ridge mall at 6:30 PM.  Find out more about the event on Facebook.  There's 16 days left to pre-order tickets, and we need 65 more tickets pre-ordered in order for the movie to be shown.  Pre-order tickets here.

Please buy tickets and support this endeavor to bring more positive, Christian messages into our media!  I hope to see you there!

#ExerciseChallenge #Week1

Okay, so this was an incredibly busy week, but such is my life.  I really do try my best to go to bed early, wake up early, exercise, take a shower, make breakfast for me and the hubs, make lunch for me and the hubs, go to work for 10 hours, come home after tutoring, bible study, church, band practice, or whatever else I have going on after work, cook dinner, clean the kitchen (and whatever else needs to be cleaned), exercise again, do my bible study, spend time with husband, and go to bed early.

I really do try...but it ends up more like: sleep through the alarm, throw on clothes, throw leftovers or a random assortment of food in lunch boxes, toss Tyler some pop-tarts for breakfast, drink an Atkins shake, go to work for 10-1/2 hours, barely make it to tutoring, bible study, church, band practice (or whatever else), get home by MAYBE 8...eat a sandwich for dinner because I'm too tired to make anything, and who has time to clean?  Lay in bed shortly after and watch an episode of a tv show in order to "spend time" with my husband, then fall asleep because I'm so tired.

How is exercise supposed to fit in there anywhere?  Ugh, I hate it.

So, let's recap.  Pretty sure I gained weight this week.  I "exercised" a total of 1 hour this week, because I ran (read: walked somewhat briskly) the Lake Myrtle Trail.  With some friends.  :)

That means I'm already 1-1/2 hours behind my goal, and it's only the first week!  Who am I?  Grrrrr....

On a completely unrelated note, I could REALLY go for some Ben & Jerry's "The Tonight Dough" ice cream right about now...

Have a great week y'all!  Pray for me...I'm really gonna try and bump that 1 hour up this week!

#30DayChallenge

Guys, not to brag, but I'm a genius.

That is to say, I'm really good at coming up with these awesome plans for my life that I rarely ever follow up on.  Character flaw?  Maybe.  Okay, yeah, pretty much, but this plan I REALLY want to follow through on.

Let me start back at the beginning.  So I was watching this show on Netflix called "30 Days," and basically every episode, a person from one background/culture/belief system would spend 30 Days immersed in an opposing lifestyle.  The four episodes I watched were: a conservative Christian living with a Muslim family in a majority Muslim town, a conservative Christian veteran living with a homosexual in the Castro district in California, a health-nut mom who binge-drank four times a week to get through to her 19-year-old college-partying daughter, and an atheist living with a non-denominational Christian family.

These episodes really had me thinking.  A lot.  Mostly about how Christianity and today's culture don't mix very well, but also about how Christians don't know how to LOVE their neighbors in truth AND mercy (they're either "loving" them by unmercifully shoving the truth of scripture down their throats or "loving" them by watering down the truth or casting it aside altogether in favor of "tolerance").  So I was like, "Hey, I should create a Bible study centered around all of this and introduce it as a small group at the church I'm currently attending..."  But the more I meditated on that, I realized it would be too much of a commitment for me at this point in my life.

BUT here comes the exciting part.  I was praying all afternoon and evening for God to show me how He wanted the concept of 30 Days to impact and effect change in my life, and He woke me up at 2:00 AM this morning with the answer!

Thus, #30DayChallenge was created.  Physically, my body is a mess.  I've gained a ton of weight and developed some pretty unhealthy habits lately, and I keep getting sick and missing work as a result (not cool at all).  So something needs to be done about that.  Spiritually, I'm incredibly undisciplined.  If I could change any area of my personal spiritual walk and my relationship with my husband, it would be that we would pray together more.  Also, I've felt for a long time now that God has gifted me with the ability to write and a passion for doing so.

ALL of that to say, each month for the next 8 months, I'm taking on a #30DayChallenge to sharpen one of these areas of my life.  I'm pretty excited about all of them.  Take a look:

• May - #ExerciseChallenge (30 min./5 times a week)
• June - #WeightLossChallenge (Exercise + Healthy Eating)
• July - #DrawingChallenge (1 drawing per day - I'm pretty excited about this one)
• August - #GuitarChallenge (Learns 3 chords & 1 song per week - hopefully Tyler will help me on this one)
• September - #LoveMyHubs (Going above and beyond to show Tyler how much I love & appreciate him)
• October - #DevotionalBlog (Writing a total of 20 devotional blog posts - 5 per week)
• November - #NaNoWriMo (Yep, I'm finally going to participate - and hopefully finish writing "Camp Tandy"!)
• December - #PrayerChallenge (30 min./5 times a week)

I'm going to try and write one blog post a week to chronicle my progress, but I can't make any promises.  lol  I'm really excited to see what God shows me through this process, and hopefully I can cultivate some healthy habits that will last me for the rest of my life!

Your prayers and encouragement would be greatly appreciated during these next 8 months, and if God lays a #30DayChallenge on your heart, I encourage you to consider doing it.

So here we go!

Being Married

So I've been married for about 2 1/2 months, and it's a lot different than I expected.  I was talking to my sister-in-law about it, and I really do believe people glamourize marriage.  When I was single, I wanted to be married so I could experience constant intimacy and love from a man.  But NEWSFLASH - men are not perfect.  And they can't always fulfill the desires and expectations of women... in fact, they can be pretty bad at it. Lol  

Marriage is about sacrifice and service - CONSTANTLY.  As a single person, I only had to worry about providing for myself and meeting my own needs.  Not so anymore.  

NOW I'm constantly thinking about what to make for breakfast, lunch and dinner that my husband will actually eat; how I'm going to work a full time job, keep the apartment clean, keep the dishes clean, make sure the laundry gets done, AND stretch our meager incomes to pay our bills, buy groceries, and have money left over for things like saving, insurance, and investments... you know, for the future.  

It's exhausting.  I'm exhausted.  And it doesn't help that I've been sick 4 times in the last 2 months. 

Yeah, marriage... it's not about me or making myself happy.  It's about serving.  It's about sacrifice.  It's about denying self.  It's about forgiving.  It's about learning how to function and interact with another human being whose thoughts, interests, and priorities are often vastly different from my own.  It's about maturing.  It's so different from anything I've ever experienced before.  

Without Christ, I wouldn't survive it.  

I'm so thankful He is my anchor.