I've heard a lot of people say, "I really don't care what anyone else thinks." Or friends give other friends advice/encouragement with the words, "Don't care what anyone else thinks - do your own thing!" But have you really thought about what saying those words means?
If you don't care what other people think, that means that you essentially only care about your own thoughts or opinions, which, in a word is SELFISH. People who only care about what they think are selfish individuals who struggle with submitting to authority.
I bet now you're asking, "So does that mean we're supposed to care what everybody and their brother thinks?" And the answer to that is an emphatic NO. Because if you go around caring what everyone else thinks, you will have no inner strength to stand up for what you believe (because you will be bending to everyone else's will)! That kind of life would make a very INSECURE and FICKLE human being.
So what's the alternative? If we shouldn't care what everyone thinks, but we also shouldn't NOT care what everyone thinks, then what are we supposed to do? Glad you asked.
I'm gonna throw a word out there, and you just think about it a minute. Let it roll around in your brain. Let it seep into your thoughts. Let it form how you think about this topic.
The word is DISCERNMENT.
Some of you may already know what that word means. Some of you may not. So I'll tell you anyway. Discernment is the ability to judge well or, in Christian contexts, discernment is perception in the absence of judgment with a view to obtain spiritual direction and understanding (thanks Google).
Discernment is one of those words often misused by Christians and hardly ever used by any one else...unless someone says that you have a "discerning eye" for beauty, clothes, etc.
It's no wonder, then, that people often take the "advice" to not care what anyone else thinks and become less humble, less selfless, and less able to submit to authority.
Let's go back a little bit and review who we are as people and why we were placed on this Earth with other people just like us.
We are imperfect. We are fallible. We are forgetful. We are frail. BUT we are also creatures of the same God. He is our strength. He comforts us, guides us, and gives us direction if we let Him. Oftentimes this direction may appear in the form of ANOTHER HUMAN BEING being used by God to give us godly counsel or direction.
Did you catch that? GOD SOMETIMES USES OTHER HUMAN BEINGS TO GIVE US GODLY COUNSEL OR DIRECTION.
Which means, if we're off "not caring what anyone else thinks" and doing our own thing, we may miss that direction. We just need to be conscientious of others around us. But that doesn't mean we need to take what everyone else says as "God's honest truth," because honestly, it may not be. There are a lot of false prophets and deceitful people out there who would love to see us fall.
So what can we do to distinguish between those God is using and those who are trying to make us fall? That's where discernment comes in.
1) God will never ask us to do anything that directly defies Scripture, so if someone is giving you advice or counsel that is against Scriptural teaching, then it is NOT of God, and you probably shouldn't listen to it. If you're not sure whether the advice goes against Scripture, then GET IN THE WORD and find out! Or ask someone you TRUST and who you know is wise in Scriptural teachings.
2) JUST BECAUSE advice or even an opinion comes from a "Christian" source does not automatically mean it is the right or only opinion to have. Growing up, I had a friend who was a die-hard Christian. Just to look at her, you could tell she loved Jesus. It took me a long time to realize that there were certain things that we had different opinions about, and that was okay. Just because she didn't like a certain store, certain clothes, certain music, or even certain people DID NOT mean that I shouldn't like them either.
3) On the flip-side, JUST BECAUSE advice or an opinion comes from a non-Christian source does not automatically mean it is the wrong opinion. They just may come from the wrong motivation, but the opinions themselves may not be wrong. For example, there are people in the world who are not Christians that have decided to save sex for marriage. This reflects the biblical command to remain pure and undefiled for the marriage bed. Another example is the health movement currently sweeping across America. Not everyone who eats healthy is a Christian, just like not everyone who eats like a glutton is a pagan. But Scripture does say our bodies are a temple of the Holy Spirit, so we need to treat it as such.
I hope this gives a clearer picture of why we should care what people...certain people...think. BUT, we should always judge the thoughts and opinions of others through the lens of God's Word and what we know to be biblical truth.
