First of all, I think it's safe to say that I'm awful at themed blog posts. Agreed? Good.
Second of all, I don't even know why I'm attempting to write this right now, because I'm tired. I just finished reading all my blog posts from Germany, and I miss the Dueck family with a passion.
Third of all, God's been doing some great things in my life and in my heart recently. I've been pretty consistent with my bible reading lately, and I really hope that continues. Also, God has convicted me about my attitude. There's this book called, "Lord, Change My Attitude (Before It's Too Late!)" by James McDonald. It outlines five negative attitudes that the Lord hates (complaining, coveting, criticizing, doubting, and rebelling) and gives five attitudes to replace them with in the life of a believer (being thankful, content, loving, having faith, and being submissive). I think my biggest challenge is to replace my complaining and covetous attitudes with attitudes of thankfulness and contentment. Which reminds me! I need to write in my "5 things I'm thankful for" journal. I'm trying to write down things I'm thankful for each day (as recommended by James McDonald in the book) so that I will complain less and less and more joy will come into my life.
Also, after I finished that book, I started reading another book I've had for awhile called "In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day" by Mark Batterson. And as I was reading it, it just hit me for the first time that God is truly ALWAYS with me. Like, when I call on His name in prayer, there's no waiting period as his presence "loads," because He is already there. He is here right now. All I have to do to talk to Him is open my mouth. How crazy is that?! Also, how humbling is that? The flipside of that means that He is ALWAYS there when I sin. He is right there watching me as I lie, or doubt, or complain, or any other amount of things I do that are sinful. So I guess it's true what Pastor Osborne says about his definition of the fear of God - the continual awareness that I am in the presence of Holy God; every thought, word, action, motivation, and ATTITUDE are open before Him and are judged by Him. Wow.
God, please continue to grow me in the fear of the Lord. You know my heart better than anyone ever has, does, or will. Empty it of my selfish desires and fill it with Your desires. I pray that the things I want would be the things You want. I pray that my faith would grow by hearing, and hearing by the reading of Your word. Help me to read it, memorize it, and meditate on it DAILY. Teach me moment by moment. When I have the choice of spending time with You or doing ANYTHING ELSE, I pray that I would choose to spend time with You.
