Thursday, August 25, 2016

Demon Dentist

Okay, I know that dentists are supposed to fine, upstanding members of society who help make sure you have great oral health, but after my last visit, can I just say they seem no better to me than a mechanic in an auto shop right now?

First of all, I haven't gone to the dentist in five years, because 1) I don't have dental insurance and 2) I've had ten cavities filled in my life, and I don't relish the thought of having to PAY to have them tell me I have more.  Ugh.

But I recently went to the dentist for a check-up and guess what?  I have three cavities and am on my way to having Periodontal disease which means my teeth will either start falling out or they'll have to be extracted.  HOW?!

Jeez, there's nothing more stressful than news like that.  Oh, and on top of that, the total bill for having all of this pain inflicted on me is supposedly around $2,000 since I'm a cash patient.

All in all, a productive day.  Yeah, right.

So needless to say, my prayers are going into over-drive right now, and they're weirder requests than I can ever remember making.  "God, please grow the bone back in my gums.  God, please make my plaque buildup disappear on its own."

I mean, I figure if He can heal cancer and make tumors disappear as if by magic, He can certainly heal my mouth.  Because at this point, that's what it's going to take.

Floss and Listerine are about to become my best friends, yo.


Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Life is Hard Sometimes

Seriously, guys.  It really is.

I don't do well with stress, and I feel even the slightest bit of stress in my life so intensely.  But anyway, enough about me.  Let's do a list, okay?  Lists make everything better, #amiright?  Just look at my friend Hannah's recent list and you'll see.

Okay, so the list I would like to do is...Top Ten Comfort Foods and Why.  Just why.  It kind of goes along with Hannah's top ten good cry-sesh movies.

1.  Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream - My addiction began in college, but has since grown to epic-level proportions.  Every time I watch a Rom-Com, it's like some kind of case study in classical conditioning, because I start craving that B&J hardcore.  Mmmm....  I have 3 flavors of choice (in the order below):

The Tonight Dough...it's like heaven in a pint.  Seriously.  You have to try it.
Half Baked - my first love, and still a regular go-to flavor.  Just don't get the Fro-yo kind.  It's a travesty.
Cookie Dough...a classic.  And Ben & Jerry's does it well :)

2. Papa John's Pizza - For the sake of mixing up the desserts with other foods, can I just say I LOVE Papa John's pizza.  They just know how to make pizza.  And I think of it more as a treat, because it definitely costs more than a Little Caesar's Hot n' Ready.  Can I get a witness?  Oh, and my favorite flavor to order - bacon & pineapple.  DI. VINE.


I know, I know, this isn't bacon and pineapple, but doesn't it look good?


3. Peanut Butter M&M's - Okay, I know a lot of people are into the classic milk-chocolate M&M's, but it's just been so hard for me to go back after trying PB M&M's.  They are melt-in-your-mouth-not-in-your-hand amazing.  Although, let's just get real - if you hold them in your hand long enough, they will melt.  But who actually holds them in their hand that long?  #noone


4. Cape Cod Kettle-Cooked Salt & Vinegar Chips - To me, any other kind of chips just doesn't measure up, and any other brand of salt & vinegar chips just isn't the same.  I know there are probably a lot of haters out there, but there's just something about sitting down with a whole bag of these babies...mmm mmm good, y'all.  Oh, and 40% less fat, yo!  (Whatever that means.)


5.  Donuts - A staple.  Classic...yummy...it's like, I see a box, and I just want that sticky sweet goodness in my mouth ASAP, you know what I'm saying?  Not to mention the church I go to has them FOR FREE every Sunday morning.  It's truly a lesson in discipline and by the grace of God that I'm not a 400-pound diabetic yet.


6.  Boiled Peanuts - An interesting choice, I'm sure you might say.  But I was born and raised in the South, and I love sitting down with a bag of freshly boiled peanuts that you buy on the side of the road and just going to town.  Mmmm.


7.  Cheesecake - I mean, I don't discriminate on cake - I love all kinds.  But cheesecake is like...if you took the hopes & dreams & wishes of children and mixed them with a harp-playing angel (but not in a cannibalistic way), you'd get cheesecake.  It's phenom.  Oh, and my favorite cheesecake topping is the cherry pie filling - sooooooo good.


8.  Sushi - I know, probably 90% of you are gagging right now, and you may even be hesitant to read on at this point. HOWEVER, it's my list, and I love sushi, okay?  Kthxbye moving on.  #Sorrynotsorry


9.  Chocolate Chip Cookies - Just MMMMM.  That's all I know to say about that.


And last but not least....

10.  Pancakes/Waffles - I know there's a lot of controversy between the two - like which one is better?  But I'm here to say THEY'RE BOTH AMAZING so let's just eat them both - all the time.  Well, until we've reached our carb limit for the day, which is like, what, 2,000 g?  lol  #Panwaf4Life


So there you have it.  My top 10.  And this is just individual foods - it doesn't cover go-to fast food restaurants like Taco Bell, Dairy Queen, or Chick-fila, because that's another post for another day.

What about you?  What's your go-to comfort food?  Which ones do you agree with or disagree with from my list (and try not to hate on my sushi too much)?